so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
