you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize