Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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