I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
