The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Rumble strips road head = magical
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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