scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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