I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
