I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize