I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize