Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
