no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
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