jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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