im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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