The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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