I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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