It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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