This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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