You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize