He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Randomize
