I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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