Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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