He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
