I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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