i would punch a child for taco bell
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
