Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize