Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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