You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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