I am in a vortex of obligation.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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