just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
