I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
