She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize