We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
