people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
