you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Tornado booty call.. dedication
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
