John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Randomize
