why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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