i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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