he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
