oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
