im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
