She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Randomize
