i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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