I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
