I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
