They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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