What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
