I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
