i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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