just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
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