i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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