Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
What changed your mind?
Being sober
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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