It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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