What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
