Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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