I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
