Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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