Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
