I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
