So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
