I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
