i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
