I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
