Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
