I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
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