If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
